Casualties of Love Read online

  Casualties of Love

  By Denise Riley

  Published by: Denise Riley

  Copyright © 2014 by Denise Riley

  Thank you for downloading this ebook. This book is the copyrighted property of the author and may not be reproduced, scanned, or distributed for any commercial or non-commercial use without permission from the author. Quotes used in reviews are the exception. No alteration of content is allowed. If you enjoyed this book, then encourage your friends to download their own copy. Your support and respect for the property of this author is appreciated.

  This book is a work of fiction. Names, characters, places, incidents, and events are either a product of the author’s imagination or are used fictitiously. Any similarity to actual persons (living or deceased) and/or actual events is entirely coincidental.

  Adult Reading Material

  Dedication: Thank you readers. I appreciate your willingness to spend time with these characters and stories! Thanks, also, to those of you who bought my other books (Friends and Lovers Series (At Last and Worth the Wait), Sweet Secret and Sweet Dreams). I hope you enjoy this story of love lost and found. Thank you to the men and women who so bravely serve in our armed forces. Bless you and your families for the sacrifices you make. And as always, thank you to my family and to the best husband in the world - mine.

  Chapter 1

  Jessica struggled to breathe. Her heart was pounding and her vision threatened to blur. She broke out in a cold sweat despite the heat swirling in her surroundings. Everything went silent. It was like she’d lost her hearing. The roar of the helicopters, the pops of gunfire, and the shouts from the scene faded to nothing. She couldn’t believe what she was seeing, who she was seeing. She supposed it had always been entirely possible, probable even, that they would cross paths. She should probably be more surprised that it had not happened before now. But, Jessica had not been prepared for it today. She had no idea he was even in country, in Afghanistan at the same time that she was. Not that she should know. She hadn’t seen or talked to him since...since she walked away from him six years ago.

  Six years.

  The time apart did nothing to hamper her from instant recognition. The features were sharper, harder, and half-concealed with blood and dirt. Nothing of the boyish charm she remembered was evident, but she knew who he was. Hell, if tested, she could recite his every feature and attribute. He was her past. The man that haunted her dreams. Her most profound regret.

  Tyson Kidd.

  The face she was shock-locked on was full-grown male. And right now, its handsome appearance was pinched in discomfort. Light grey eyes she remembered so well were hidden behind lids that were shut tight. Even though he was near unconscious his body was flinching in what had to be excruciating pain. It was tightening his features, tensing his strong, muscular body. It’s what held her immobile, un-breathing, and nearly unthinking.

  Tyson had a gash over his left eye that had to be at least three inches long. It was bleeding all over his face. Two fingers on his hand on the same side were knotted in odd places, surely broken. He had abrasions over nearly every exposed surface. And, there was a large, sharp piece of shrapnel, about half-a foot long, jammed into his left thigh. It looked deeply lodged and he was bleeding, a lot and all over the desert ground.

  Bleeding out. The words crashed around in Jessica’s brain, but she couldn’t seem to operate her limbs. What if he didn’t make it? Too often she saw guys barely even old enough to be called men die in the field. Die under her hands from wounds she couldn’t compete with. Her chest constricted. He had to make it. I just found him. Lord, please…

  “Sarge!”

  “Ma’am!”

  “J.C.!”

  Jessica broke out of her trance with the shouting of her name. The cacophony of battle sounds rushed back to full volume. She looked up to see Villano standing over her. He’d been waiting for her attention.

  “Ma’am, you okay? You got him?” Villano asked. “How do you want us to work this? There’s a lot of ‘em.” Villano was breathing hard, not doubt reacting to the chaos around them.

  “Yeah. Yeah, I’m good,” she shouted back over the noise. Then, Jessica looked back down at Tyson Kidd. She had to save him. She had to make sure he made it to the doctors so they could help him. She started to apply pressure to Tyson’s injury as she gave Villano instructions. “I got him. You take care of that one.” Jessica pointed toward a large soldier near an overturned Humvee. “Looks like the injury to the foot is severe. Get him immobilized and tourniquet that limb. Do what you can to stabilize him, try to save the foot, and quickly move on the next one. Get Avery to get some more trauma kits and get them out to the others. Greene should be out here. She wasn’t far behind me. Tell them to scout out any other major injuries and get to work prioritizing and stabilizing. Get the mobile ones headed to the LZ. If any of them have strength enough to help out, tell them to pitch in with moving the ones that can’t walk to MEDEVAC. We’ve got to get these boys in. When we load up, I’ll radio ahead.”

  Villano gave Jessica a quick “Yes, Ma’am” and took off to follow her orders. She went about immobilizing Tyson and attending his leg to slow the bleeding. She kept an eye on her surroundings to make sure the situation was stable enough that she didn’t have to worry about getting shot in the back.

  The metal in Tyson’s leg was deep into his thick thigh and she was afraid to move it, but she couldn’t see if he had a damaged artery or femoral nick with it in the way. She cut away the fabric of his uniform and gently removed the offending object. Blood rushed out, and Jessica struggled to staunch the flow. She worked on him for about 10 minutes using everything she’d learned in her training for her Expert Field Medical Badge to give him the best possible chance of surviving. When she finished all she could do, she was nearly emotionally drained from her fear of him dying and having to dictate to the others in triaging and caring for the many other casualties.

  Jessica tended to a couple more wounded Soldiers and then loaded up on the helo. They headed back in to the airbase from the Afghan border where the platoon had been hit. Grabbing a clean rag to wipe her hands of sweat, dust and blood, she sat down next to Tyson and made a radio call to the military hospital to alert them of the pending arrival of all of the wounded. In her opinion, at least three of the ones on the helo with her needed emergency surgery and four or five more would need it later, though they were stable enough at the moment to hold.

  Putting the radio down after the call, Jessica looked down at her patient. She noted the double bars on his patch. He was a captain now. Captain Tyson Adam Kidd. She had thought about him without fail every year that they’d been apart. She wondered if he ever thought about her, about them, and she fought against the urge to touch him. She shouldn’t, because she didn’t have a reason to put her hands on him now. Shaking her head, Jessica focused on the chopping whir of the helicopter blades and forced her eyes away from Tyson’s prone body. She couldn’t believe he was here. She prayed he’d live.

  ******

  Pain. Sharp and deep. Flashes. An explosion. Shouts.

  “Engage, engage!” he shouted. He could see the men that had fallen. How? Ambush? No intel. No option but to fight. Fight and win. Or die. No choice.

  Tyson was deafened by the sounds of chaos – loud, banging, booming in his ears. He knew he needed to fight. He had to move, or he was dead. The insurgents hit them hard. He didn’t know where the hell they’d come from. His team was out working the border. Simple cordon and search…or, it should have been. They were not expecting any contact with the enemy. Intel had suggested all was quiet. The crossings were expected to be tame, and today was supposed to be easy. But, everything had gone from calm to clusterfuck in a matter
of seconds. Now, he needed to move, but something was holding him back. They were holding him down. He shouted, raged.

  “Hey, hold him still before he opens that thing up some more!”

  Tyson could hear someone shouting over the crashing in his head. He thrashed, but couldn’t get free.

  “We need get him under. I don’t want him bleeding out. Femoral artery might be nicked with all this blood.”

  Tyson struggled. Who was bleeding out? Him? Jones? Where the hell was Jones? He yelled for Marcus. Where were Lassiter and Collins? He gritted his teeth as he suffered more pain. He felt strong hands on him arms and legs. Straining he tried to heave himself up, struggled to open his eyes. No good. He felt anger swell up inside of him. Then, soft hands were on his face. A voice he knew, one he had once cherished, was in his ear. It was pushing past the pain and the noise.

  “Tyson, stop fighting. Shh. You’re okay.”

  A touch. Tender. Soothing.

  “Jess?”

  “Yes, I’m here. I need you to be still. You’re okay, Ty. Stop fighting.” That voice. It sounded so good; it eased him. But, it couldn’t be. It couldn’t.

  “Jess.” A ragged sigh. A plea. “Don’t go.”

  Tyson’s eyelids fluttered. He needed to see. He needed to know if she was really with him. Jessica. But he couldn’t fight through the dark fog, and soon the black overtook him altogether.

  Chapter 2

  Jessica walked by Tyson’s bed for what had to be the fifth or sixth time in the last couple of hours. She stopped and listened to the low hum of medical equipment as she observed him. She told herself she was helping out, but she knew it wasn’t true. She couldn’t stay away. She needed to see him. She needed to know that he was okay. That was why she’d volunteered to stay late into evening when it wasn’t her job, when she really needed rest. Instead, she did rounds, checked vitals, updated the doctors on the statuses of trauma and kept moving. All so she could get glimpses of a man she hadn’t seen or spoken to in years. A man that she was profoundly glad to know seemed to remember her. Well...he had at least recognized her voice.

  Tyson had not awakened since he’d been brought in. So, he had not seen her. Jessica was half afraid to be around when he did regain consciousness. She had no idea what his reaction to seeing her would be. She was more afraid that he hadn’t opened his eyes, yet. His injuries included a pretty hard hit given the size of the knot on the back of his head. He was concussed. That coupled with the blood loss was cause for concern, though he seemed to be stable. Stopping at his side, she looked down at his still form. He was breathing well. His skin color was returning to normal. Thankfully, he’d come through the surgery well. Having not woken up could be an issue, but the rest he was getting was also greatly needed for his body to begin healing.

  She had surprised her colleagues when she caressed Tyson to quite him. He had been violently upset, not aware of where he was or what was going on. They had feared he’d cause more damage to his injury in his struggles. Tyson was a big man; he was strong and they had barely been able to restrain him. Jessica had done what was natural to her. She had put her hands on either side of his face and leaned in close to speak directly to him. He had responded and calmed down. He had called her name.

  Jessica could still feel the sensation of the contact in her palms. She looked down at her hands. That touch had been like magic – a tingle in her fingertips, a stirring in her spirit. To hear him whisper her name had been like an awakening. The people who had witnessed it were curious as to how she knew Cpt. Kidd, but she had easily dodged the questions. She had told everyone that they’d met a long time ago, that she remembered him from her time in college. Everyone had seemed to take that and let it go. For that, she was very glad. That it was…mostly true was a good thing, as Jessica didn’t like lying to her colleagues; many of them were good friends. But as close as she’d allowed herself to become to the people she worked with, none of them knew her full story. Not even Tyson Kidd knew all of it, and he played leading role in it.

  Six years ago, US Military Academy, New York

  Jessica was sitting in the Commandant’s office waiting for the man to come back in. She had just turned in her resignation. He had been speechless, an uncommon thing for him. She was only about five months from graduation. Five months from walking across that stage and getting her coveted Cullum number. With three years and some months under her belt at the United States Military Academy (USMA), the Commandant couldn’t understand why she would quit. He knew she was more than capable of completing the final requirements of her year as a first class cadet. In less than 180 days she could complete the journey with her class. He asked her numerous times why she was leaving, but she didn’t want to tell him. She didn’t want to discuss it with anyone…well, except for Tyson. But she couldn’t talk about it with him.

  She could hardly believe what she was doing. She loved it at West Point. She wanted nothing more than to graduate with her cadet class. To get her commission as an officer in the US Army. She had thought about being at West Point and graduating from the Academy since she was a kid. While other girls were dressing up, she wanted to hear her father talk about military missions and tactical operations. While her friends were cheerleading and dating, Jessica was competing in Junior ROTC.

  When she’d first learned about West Point and that she might possibly be able to get there, it had been all she had worked for, to be called “Cadet”. To wear that sharply cut uniform with the beautiful brass buttons. It was all she’d ever wanted. It was the thing that she and her father could focus on together in order to get past the loss of her mother, which had left a middle-school aged Jessica despondent and her father a depressed, borderline drunk. Her maternal grandmother had hated the idea of Jessica in the Army; she was constantly saying the military was no place for a young woman, most especially a Black woman. But, with two-against-one, as her father would say, it didn’t matter what the woman thought. He was the one that would make the final determination. And, her father had promised that if she got an appointment, he would support her at every step.

  Well, she’d been appointed, come and done her best, proved herself better than many, and was now having to duck her head and leave. She hated it, but she needed to get it done. Leaving here was beyond hard; Jessica didn’t want to imagine what it would be like when she showed up at home and had to explain herself to her community.

  The Commandant, who had been gone for several minutes, returned to his office with the Academy Superintendent and Jessica had to stifle a groan. Now, she had to try to convince them both to let her leave. Prayerfully it would be done without giving them what they really wanted - a logical reason.

  “Cadet Watts. What’s this about you wanting to resign?” the Superintendent asked. He perched himself against the side of the Commandant’s mahogany desk. He was a big man, tall and broad. His sharp eyes were focused on her and Jessica knew he would do whatever he could to fish out the truth. For some reason, he’d always taken and interest in her. She’d never understood it, but he’d more than earned her respect and admiration. It would be difficult to snow him.

  “Sir, I just need to go. I…I can’t finish up. I know that it seems, um, unbelievable, but it’s just the way it is. I’m resigning. I need to resign.”

  “You do understand that you can’t change your mind on this.” Jessica nodded, but the man kept talking. “This could be a problem, Cadet Watts. The Army has made a commitment to you, a large monetary commitment, by paying for you to be here. Your goal to graduate and commit to serving the Army is part of your agreement. The Army could reasonably expect recompense for the years you’ve been educated here.”

  “Yes, sir. I’m aware and the Commandant has reminded me of that, as well, sir. I’ll do whatever is required to pay back what I owe to the Army, but I can’t stay at the Academy.”

  The Superintendant looked at her for a moment. He seemed to be contemplating her demeanor. No doubt the man was trying to figure her
out.

  “Commandant, can you give us a moment, please?”

  “Yes, sir. I’ll be just outside,” Commandant said and left the room. Jessica sighed and waited.

  “Jessica, what’s going on?” The Superintendent spoke to her plainly. This was what she had feared. She couldn’t lie to him. He’d always treated her with such respect when he had no reason to even show any interest in her at all. She was just one cadet among thousands he’d encountered, but he’d somehow always known who she was and seemed to care how she was doing. “You’re almost at the finish line. What is really going on with you? The truth. I know you don’t want to leave.”

  “Sir…” she started and faltered. Tears were gathering in her eyes. Jessica blinked rapidly to try to stop their descent, but it failed to help. The Superintendent waited patiently. “Sir, I... I have to go.” He hadn’t relented and in the end Jessica had broken down. She told him everything that was going on with her. She had waited for him to ream her out for her stupidity, for getting this far and then walking away from it. It wasn’t everyday that kids like her got recommended to the Academy, to any military academy. But, he never shouted or raged at her. He did question her about her relationship with Tyson, but Jessica had vowed to keep Tyson out of her decision. She didn’t want him trying to convince her to stay, and she didn’t want anything to come between him and his graduation. The Superintendant asked if she was positive she didn’t want to try to finish out the year. He didn’t want to see her give up. But, Jessica didn’t see how she could.

  “I have to leave,” she said again.

  “Alright,” he said soberly. “If you’re absolutely sure.” She nodded. He paused to call the Commandant back into the room before speaking again. “Cadet Watts, it is with great sadness that the US Military Academy accepts your resignation.” The Commandant looked between Jessica and the Superintendent multiple times. He seemed to be in complete disbelief over the fact that the Superintendent had not talked her out of leaving. The man began to sputter, but the Superintendent continued calmly. “Ms. Watts, the Commandant will work with you on how to process out.”